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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,569

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Trending via Telegram:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Spotted on Messenger:

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

Just shared via Discord:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Going viral on TikTok:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Just landed via Instagram:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

I let my girl wear whatever because you’re staring, and I’m hittin’ that.

Humorous text about confident jealousy and playful possessiveness in a relationship.
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Commentary:
Eye candy for you, buffet for me! 😎🍬

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

28 shares on Threads this month:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

25 shares on Threads this month:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

70 shares on Slack this month:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I go to the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,586

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Honestly, I can see why God flooded the Earth that one time.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Broadcasted on WeChat:

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

Making waves on YouTube:

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

Just landed via YouTube:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Trending via LinkedIn:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Going viral on Telegram:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Trending via X:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

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