I let my girl wear whatever because you’re staring, and I’m hittin’ that. Posted onFeb 3, 2026 by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image Commentary:Eye candy for you, buffet for me! 😎🍬 Related funny posts 😂 I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy. Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?” At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer. Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane? Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.