Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic mysterious husband move! 🤣🪚 Can't go wrong with a little bit of suspense in the relationship, right? Just don't accidentally start a horror movie plot in your backyard! 🔪😅"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

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2 months ago

cool, even, frustration, humor, i, ID, joke, know, landlubber, life, lose, losing, losing cool, me, nautical, sailor, sailor joke, sarcastic, sea, sea life
Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

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2 months ago

clean, cleaning, drama, evidence, feels, humor, i, room, sometimes
Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

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2 months ago

actually, behavior, communication, doing, just, men, most, motivation, stereotype, talk, things, want
If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

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2 months ago

empathy, humor, need, perspective, post, posts, sharing, stole, theft
Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

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2 months ago

atoms, caught, chemistry, fission, humor, joke, just, never, pun, science, trust, why
The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

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2 months ago

cancellation, dopamine, fun, getting, hit, humor, irony, meeting, office, outlook, relief, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on X this month:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

66 shares on Discord this month:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

28 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

56 shares on Slack this month:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

36 shares on X this month:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Trending via Telegram:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Trending via Reddit:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Shared recently on Discord:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Freshly posted on Slack:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Live now on YouTube:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Freshly posted on X:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨