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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,617

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Spotted on WeChat:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Relatable! If my bed were any closer, my office would be suspicious of my "nap productivity metrics" 😴💤🔍

bed, commute, distance, frustration, humor, i, longing, miss, sleep, where, why, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

0

2 months ago

book, corner, dog, dog ear, ear, humor, math, page, page corner, pets, reading
Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

0

2 months ago

brag, childless, humor, life, life situation, situation, time
Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

0

2 months ago

being, cool, humor, motorcycle, music, piano, shout, shout out, vehicle, Yamaha
My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

0

2 months ago

ability, buying, expenses, extravagant, getting, grocery, housing, humor, irony, lifestyle, money, paying, save, save money
Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

0

2 months ago

downfall, humor, lighthearted, praying, right, sarcasm, self-reflection, stop
The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

0

2 months ago

appointment, best, doctor, fill, forms, frustration, healthcare, hello, humor, irony, online, say, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

16 shares on Discord this month:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

14 shares on X this month:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Just shared via Slack:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Trending via Discord:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Going bananas on Twitch:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Live now on TikTok:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Going viral on Facebook:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨