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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,651

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Just landed via Slack:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Spotted on Slack:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Making waves on X:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Going viral on Threads:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Going viral on Reddit:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when five bucks made me feel like a millionaire! 🤑💸

age, childhood, childhood memory, dollars, financial, financial perspective, five, i, innocence, lot, memory, miss, money, nostalgia, perspective, thought, whatever, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

0

2 months ago

children, desire, father, ice cream, kids
They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

0

3 months ago

20, 30, 40, 9, age, bedtime, humor, i, know, lifestyle, midnight, new, night, party, say, time
Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

0

2 months ago

character, Christmas, creativity, Grinch, holiday, humor, invention, needs, Santa, Wario
By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

0

2 months ago

am, day, humor, i, just, loser, night, nighttime, regular, same, self-deprecation
Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

0

2 months ago

commitment, engagement, getting, humor, just, love, marriage, married, need, relationship, soon, spouse, wedding
I keep my mind active by worrying.

0

2 months ago

activity, health, humor, i, keep, mental, mental health, mind, self-care, worry, worrying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Instagram this month:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

28 shares on Slack this month:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

37 shares on X this month:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

93 shares on YouTube this month:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Just shared via Facebook:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Just shared via Slack:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨