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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,304

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Just shared via Telegram:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Freshly posted on Threads:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Making waves on X:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Making waves on Twitch:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

I miss you (the money I spent).

0
I miss you (the money I spent).
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Missing you like my wallet misses its friends: the dollars 💸😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m addicted to placebos.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,634

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Live now on Twitch:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Freshly posted on X:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Broadcasted on X:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Shared recently on Threads:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

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