Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,946

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Going viral on Telegram:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Just shared via Reddit:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Just landed via YouTube:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Making waves on TikTok:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Spotted on Twitch:

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Seen just now on Messenger:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Shared recently on Threads:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Rooting for this guy like I'm cheering for my mattress topper 🛏️🤣📈

ambition, boy, humor, i, life, me, pray, prayer, relationship, top, win, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

0

2 months ago

activity, best, bottle, candy, empty, fun, fun activity, humor, line, mouth, playful, prescription, prescription bottle, shaking, Smarty, waiting
I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

0

2 months ago

beer, drinking, fridge, humor, i, lot, need, night, only, party, room, tonight
Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

0

2 months ago

activity, dawn, drink, duel, dusk, good, haunt, humor, lover, lovers, morning, night, only
I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

0

1 month ago

advice, fine, getting, help, humor, i, partner, recommend, relationship, support, yourself
I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

0

2 months ago

after, humor, ID, joke, massage, masseuse, minutes, okay, relaxation, selfish, terrible, turn
Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

0

4 months ago

barking, comment, comments, girl, girls, i, interaction, man, media, playful, relationship, social, social media, stuff, want, weird

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

52 shares on X this month:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Just landed via WeChat:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Spotted on Telegram:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Trending via YouTube:

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Trending via TikTok:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Going viral on Reddit:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Trending via Twitch:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Live now on WhatsApp:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨