Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,666

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Trending via WeChat:

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

Trending via Discord:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Spotted on TikTok:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Seen just now on Reddit:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Just shared via Instagram:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Trending via Twitch:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Just landed via Messenger:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Spotted on Instagram:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Rooting for this guy like I'm cheering for my mattress topper 🛏️🤣📈

ambition, boy, humor, i, life, me, pray, prayer, relationship, top, win, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

0

2 months ago

13th, asked, call, conference, conference call, conversation, conversation starter, experience, Friday, Friday the 13th, hockey, hockey mask, humor, mask, spooky, starter, unique, unique experience, workplace
Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

0

2 months ago

cosmic, every, humor, i, me, okay, patience, sign, signs, think, time, universe, wait, waiting
Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

0

5 months ago

clicking, encouragement, great, humor, job, little, office, office humor, praise, productivity, proud, sarcasm, spreadsheet, super, today, work
I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

0

2 months ago

cheese, food, humor, i, love, meet, name, relationship, significant, significant other
‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

0

2 months ago

alone, die, dying, existential, going, group, humor, life, okay, project
Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

0

2 months ago

call, came, humor, i, joke, paradox, time, time traveler, today, traveler, yesterday

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on X this month:

I have a very active anti-social life.

76 shares on Threads this month:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Just shared via WeChat:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Just landed via Facebook:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Spotted on Pinterest:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Just shared via Slack:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Just landed via Slack:

January is the Monday of the year.

Going viral on Telegram:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨