Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,835

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Trending via TikTok:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

Broadcasted on X:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Shared recently on Threads:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Trending via Reddit:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Breaking via Snapchat:

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤖🧠 vs. 😇😜: Place your bets, folks! My money's on stupidity for its ability to never learn its lesson!

artificial, artificial intelligence, comedy, folly, genuine, human, human folly, humor, i, intelligence, next, prediction, satire, stupidity, technology, war, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

0

3 months ago

9-5, 95, advice, fraud, gone, humor, hustle, job, life, life advice, little, only, side, survival, survive, work, world
It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

0

2 months ago

crazy, entertaining, entertainment, epigenetic, epigenetic memory, fire, memory, open, open fire, real, shit, stare
I bet God still calls it Twitter.

0

2 months ago

bet, calls, God, humor, i, joke, media, social, social media, still, Twitter
Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

0

2 months ago

enter, everyone, humor, irony, leave, observation, pleasure, room, social
If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

0

2 months ago

anything, communication, confusion, experience, humor, information, inquiry, know, knowledge, knows, let, me, something
I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

0

2 months ago

afraid, alive, everyone, fear, ghost, ghosts, humor, mad, me, relationships, still

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

87 shares on X this month:

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Seen just now on Discord:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Trending via Snapchat:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Going bananas on X:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨