I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

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I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

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Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

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The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

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My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.