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Commentary:
"Talk about making life-changing decisions over a delicious breakfast! 🌯💍 Who needs a ring when you've got a breakfast burrito to say 'yes' to? 😂 #Priorities"

after, asked, breakfast, burrito, craving, decision, food, humor, i, myself, self-talk, wanted, yes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

0

2 months ago

aniston, celebrity, conspiracy, feed, humor, Jennifer, Jennifer Aniston, JFK, killed, media, news, reading, satire, social, social media, Twitter
It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

0

2 months ago

art, artist, complicated, humor, medical, medical humor, separation, surgery
25 is the new 0 years old.

0

2 weeks ago

25, age, birthday, celebration, humor, milestone, new, number, old, youth
If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

0

2 months ago

check, cry, goal, humor, just, life, life goal, reality, reality check, retirement, sad, sad truth, show, someone, truth, year
I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

0

2 months ago

anything, away, bad, bad behavior, behavior, child, child behavior, got, hilarious, humor, i, know, parenting, right, shut, swear, swear word, swearing, swearing toddler, toddler, word
Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

1

2 months ago

better, bus, humor, irony, offer, people, room, sitting, standing, standing room

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Threads this month:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

31 shares on Threads this month:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

25 shares on Threads this month:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My middle finger salutes you.

76 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

28 shares on Slack this month:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

22 shares on Threads this month:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Shared recently on Slack:

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Spotted on Reddit:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Seen just now on Discord:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Going viral on Threads:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Just landed via Twitch:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Just landed via WeChat:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

25 is the new 0 years old.

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨