Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I’m saving myself for my vibrator.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,650

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Just shared via TikTok:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Just landed via YouTube:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Most attractive muscle on a man? The frontal lobe. Fully developed.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Spotted on WeChat:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Just shared via X:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Live now on Messenger:

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

2 hours ago

Funny quote about unrequited love and relationship struggles, with a humorous and relatable vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic tale of unrequited love in the digital age – a modern-day tragedy in 5 steps! 🙈💔 Maybe the 999 other girls were just practice rounds in the game of love. Who knew narrowing down your options could be so challenging? Keep your chin up, Romeo! 🌟"

back, dating, girl, heartbreak, humor, i, know, love, me, numbers, rejection, relationship, talk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Threads this month:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

80 shares on Discord this month:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

86 shares on X this month:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

83 shares on Discord this month:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Dying and being reincarnated as a beetle, and crawling to my old body’s grave, and digging down and living in my old ribcage.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,616

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Viewing everyone’s stories like the morning paper.

Going viral on Twitch:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Spotted on Instagram:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Seen just now on Slack:

Your soul is out of balance because you have fallen out of touch with your consumer demographic. Pay more attention to your personalized ads, let them flow through you.

Spotted on X:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Breaking via Facebook:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Going viral on Facebook:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

Breaking via WeChat:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Live now on Facebook:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴