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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,795

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Just landed via Threads:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

Seen just now on YouTube:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Just landed via TikTok:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Just shared via TikTok:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Just shared via Instagram:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

2 months ago

0

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic tale of unrequited love in the digital age – a modern-day tragedy in 5 steps! 🙈💔 Maybe the 999 other girls were just practice rounds in the game of love. Who knew narrowing down your options could be so challenging? Keep your chin up, Romeo! 🌟"

back, dating, girl, heartbreak, humor, i, know, love, me, numbers, rejection, relationship, talk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, date, dinner, finished, food, funny situation, humor, leave, leaving, moment, situation, yes
I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

0

2 months ago

asking, communication, different, humor, i, meaning, meant, memory, nostalgia, remember, someone, something, x
If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

0

2 months ago

brevity, Christianity, humor, joke, kama, Kama Sutra, page, religion, religious, religious satire, satire, sexuality, sutra
Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

0

2 months ago

coworkers, distractions, everyone, hate, home, humor, i, message, messaging, remote, remote work, shopping, try, work, work from home
My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

0

2 months ago

account, bank, bank account, conversation, debt, finance, humor, i, joke, longer, money, relationship, speaking, terms
9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

afternoon, anything, humor, maybe, morning, motivation, optimism, possibility, procrastination, reality, time, tomorrow

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

55 shares on Slack this month:

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

89 shares on X this month:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

61 shares on Threads this month:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

A garlic a day keeps people away.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,966

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Just landed via Discord:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Going viral on Instagram:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

Going viral on TikTok:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Just shared via TikTok:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Just landed via TikTok:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

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