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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡΄ has copied:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ί has copied:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ά has shared:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has viewed:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has shared:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has shared:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has shared:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,306

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on TikTok:

Girls be like β€œforget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Spotted on Slack:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Breaking via Threads:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Just shared via X:

Honestly, I can see why God flooded the Earth that one time.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

Breaking via Facebook:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Witty quote about life's struggles with a humorous downhill metaphor.
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Commentary:
Rolling with style from the basement to the bottom floor! πŸ˜‚πŸ“‰β¬‡οΈ

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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Slack this month:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

84 shares on Slack this month:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

100 shares on Slack this month:

I celebrate 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

83 shares on X this month:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

People ask you, β€œare you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, β€œyes”.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones β€” I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,749

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Someone from πŸ‡ΆπŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

β€œWhy are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΅ has shared:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡³ has shared:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has shared:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡± has copied:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via Pinterest:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Trending via Instagram:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Going viral on Facebook:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Shared recently on YouTube:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

Spotted on Facebook:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Going viral on Pinterest:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

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