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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,888

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Shared recently on X:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Going bananas on Telegram:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Just shared via Telegram:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
Rolling with style from the basement to the bottom floor! 😂📉⬇️

bottom, downhill, ever, humor, i, life, point, sarcasm, started, starting, starting point, struggle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

1 month ago
headphones, humor, instrument, inventor, kid, learn, learning, music, noise-canceling, parenting, pretty, sure, trying, young
I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

1 month ago
communication, dog, human, humans, humor, i, idiot, looks, me, pet, relationship, talk
Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

1 month ago
activity, always, better, decision, escalator, faster, humor, i, move, next, people, prove, stairs, whenever
Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

1 month ago
appointment, around, doctor, eye, health, humor, irony, today
Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

2 months ago
being, enjoying, here, humor, i, last, late, management, minutes, not being, procrastination, sorry, time, time management
Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

1 month ago
coolness, death, fashion, freeze, humor, styling, teenager

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Trending via Discord:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Trending via Facebook:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Going viral on Telegram:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

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Activity Log ✨

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

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I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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