Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,394

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Making waves on X:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Just shared via TikTok:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Just landed via Facebook:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Live now on WeChat:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Going viral on Reddit:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Just landed via Twitch:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Trending via Pinterest:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Rolling with style from the basement to the bottom floor! 😂📉⬇️

bottom, downhill, ever, humor, i, life, point, sarcasm, started, starting, starting point, struggle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

0

2 months ago

assistant, beeping, cars, close, funny observation, humor, ID, interaction, observation, parking, parking assistant, people, safety, social, social interaction, too
Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

0

2 months ago

chicken, chicken nugget, chicken nuggets, comparison, dollars, food, humor, know, money, nugget, sh, spend, spending, value
The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

0

5 months ago

brushing, brushing teeth, confidence, ever, falls, hottest, humor, i, moment, much, personal, personal moment, self, self-confidence, situation, teeth, tree, tree falls in the woods, underwear, woods
I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

0

2 months ago

came, doctor, health, high, home, humor, i, joke, me, medical, moved, shelf, sugar, today, too, visit, wordplay
Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

0

5 months ago

6th, 6th grade, bad, embarrassment, feel, forever, grade, i, memory, nighttime, regret, remember, said, thing, weird, weird thing
Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

0

2 months ago

connection, frustration, humor, internet, irony, joke, life, me, should, technology, unstable, Wi-Fi, wifi

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

100 shares on X this month:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

87 shares on Discord this month:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

47 shares on Slack this month:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

22 shares on Slack this month:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Just landed via Messenger:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Just landed via Threads:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Going viral on Snapchat:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨