Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,255

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Going viral on X:

The only thing that could possibly put a smile on my face is a Sharpie.

Making waves on Telegram:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Going bananas on Messenger:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Freshly posted on Threads:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Just shared via Discord:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Going viral on Telegram:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

23 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about forgetfulness and sarcasm, featuring witty humor on memory lapses.

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Commentary:
Why invite anyone else when you can surprise yourself multiple times a day? 🎉🤔🙃

forgetfulness, humor, i, joke, memory, own, party, plan, planning, surprise, surprise party, swear, worse

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82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

34 shares on Threads this month:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

30 shares on TikTok this month:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Just landed via Discord:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Going viral on Messenger:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Seen just now on Discord:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Trending via Snapchat:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Live now on X:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Just shared via Threads:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨