Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.