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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

4,011

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Breaking via Snapchat:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Shared recently on Slack:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Just shared via Twitch:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Going bananas on Twitch:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Making waves on Discord:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Going viral on Threads:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Couch potato goals achieved! 🥔✨ Pajamas at 7 p.m. is the new cool club membership! 😎🛋️

aging, blanket, comfort, cool, couch, evening, humor, i, just, pajamas, relaxation, used, wait

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

2 months ago

afterlife, audition, Earth, heaven, hell, humor, philosophy
The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

1 month ago

awareness, driving, everyone, humor, important, important thing, remember, reminder, road, safety, smart, thing
When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

1 month ago

apartment, dark, dark humor, death, dying, ghost, ghost story, haunt, haunted, haunted house, house, humor, i, me, myself, please, rush, spooky, story, supernatural, want
The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

1 month ago

autocorrect, death, died, dude, humor, joke, piece, restaurant, technology, wordplay
Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

2 months ago

children, chubby, food, food humor, funny food, gnocchi, humor, pasta, potato, spaghetti
Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

2 months ago

boob, boobs, communication, creativity, describe, humor, picture, visual

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Spotted on WeChat:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Going viral on Telegram:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Spotted on YouTube:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

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Activity Log ✨

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

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I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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