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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,264

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Just shared via X:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Spotted on X:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Going viral on Facebook:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Making waves on Messenger:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Spotted on Slack:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Just shared via YouTube:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why stop at orc? Add some Red Bull and become a full raid boss! 🧃🐉

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

0

2 months ago

always, attitude, confidence, everyone, hate, hotter, humor, i, me, self-love
Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

0

2 months ago

communication, couple, dark, dark humor, humor, intimacy, kill, relationship, sentence
Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

0

2 months ago

better, coffee, convenience, enjoyment, handed, humor, me, much, taste
Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

0

2 months ago

applying, balm, behavior, confidence, funny behavior, humor, know, lip, lip balm, move, power, power move, self-care, situation, social, social situation, watching
Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

0

2 months ago

always, aspiration, childhood, ever, goal, humor, i, life, life goal, little, retire, wanted
Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

0

2 months ago

butterfly, decide, decision, demon, easy, humor, interpretation, perception, psychology, rorschach, Rorschach test, test, tests

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Messenger this month:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

85 shares on X this month:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

100 shares on Discord this month:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

58 shares on Discord this month:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Making waves on Twitch:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Going viral on Threads:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Making waves on Messenger:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Just shared via X:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Making waves on Discord:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨