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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,275

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Just landed via Telegram:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Breaking via Telegram:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Live now on YouTube:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Live now on Reddit:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Spotted on TikTok:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Making waves on Facebook:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Spotted on Reddit:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

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Commentary:
Sauntering into the weekend like a boss while the heroes are out of breath. Darth Vader taught me well 😎🦹‍♂️👟

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Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If Britain is going to be invaded, can it at least be by the Romans? We desperately need the roads resurfacing.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

56 shares on Slack this month:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

40 shares on Threads this month:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,489

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Shared recently on Twitch:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

Spotted on Discord:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Making waves on Threads:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

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