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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,633

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Live now on Slack:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Live now on WeChat:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Trending via Discord:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Going bananas on Instagram:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

Making waves on X:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"BRB, booking my chiropractor appointment. 💡🦴 Ready to glow with the flow! 😂✨"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

0

2 months ago

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Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

0

2 months ago

curiosity, everyone, gathering, house, humor, invitation, social, social gathering, surprise, tomorrow, want, world
I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, home, humor, i, tomorrow, want, work, workday
You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

0

2 months ago

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“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

0

2 months ago

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When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

1

2 months ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

43 shares on Slack this month:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Seen just now on Slack:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Going viral on Reddit:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Making waves on X:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Live now on Pinterest:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨