Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,600

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Shared recently on Reddit:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Just shared via Threads:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Making waves on Telegram:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Shared recently on Slack:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Freshly posted on X:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

15 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about lifelong exhaustion and honesty, capturing a humorous, relatable vibe.

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Commentary:
😂😴 I relate, my spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

born, born tired, death, die, ever, exhaustion, humor, i, lying, tell, tired

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70 shares on X this month:

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Doc, if I can vibecode anything and everyone else can vibecode anything, then what’s my competitive advantage?

12 shares on TikTok this month:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

71 shares on Threads this month:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Trending via Discord:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Just shared via Telegram:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Spotted on YouTube:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Going viral on WeChat:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Just shared via X:

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

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Activity Log ✨

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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