Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,776

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Going viral on Messenger:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Live now on Telegram:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Spotted on X:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
😂😴 I relate, my spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

born, born tired, death, die, ever, exhaustion, humor, i, lying, tell, tired

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

0

2 months ago

activity, fun, fun activity, humor, outdoor, outdoor fun, sex, snow, winter, wintercourse
Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

0

5 months ago

apology, communication, ghost, ghosted, ghosting, humor, i, interaction, just, me, relationship, social, social interaction, sorry
Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

0

2 months ago

commentary, content, followers, front, humor, i, influencer, just, media, nodding, satire, sign, social, social media, standing, thing, where, whole
A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

0

2 months ago

body, clumsiness, feet, funny moment, guy, humor, i, just, leap, lot, me, moment, over, own, parking, parking lot, quantum, quantum leap, saw, self-deprecation, trip, unexpected, wit
It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

0

2 months ago

backwards, double, double meaning, humor, ironic, irony, joke, language, language joke, meaning, parts, playful, pun, reverse, reverse spelling, spelling, spells, wordplay
I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

0

2 months ago

doing, doing nothing, enjoyment, humor, just, lazy, nothing, procrastination, relaxation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on YouTube this month:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

68 shares on Facebook this month:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

84 shares on Threads this month:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

That urge to nap between 3 p.m. – 5 p.m. is no joke.

Going viral on Twitch:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Just landed via Twitch:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Spotted on Reddit:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Trending via Slack:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨