Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,501

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Trending via Discord:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Live now on Slack:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

Spotted on Facebook:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Seen just now on Discord:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Live now on Slack:

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about lifelong exhaustion and honesty, capturing a humorous, relatable vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
😂😴 I relate, my spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

born, born tired, death, die, ever, exhaustion, humor, i, lying, tell, tired

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

62 shares on Discord this month:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

17 shares on Discord this month:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

64 shares on Threads this month:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Seen just now on Discord:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Shared recently on Slack:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Spotted on YouTube:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Going viral on Discord:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Seen just now on Reddit:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨