Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,573

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Spotted on Facebook:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Spotted on LinkedIn:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Just landed via Messenger:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Just landed via WeChat:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Just shared via Discord:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Spotted on Telegram:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Forget travel dates, my wallet sets the itinerary! 🤑🗺️🍕

best, Google, Googling, humor, i, Italy, money, time, timing, travel, vacation, visit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

2 months ago

expectation, harmonica, humor, instrument, irony, joke, least, music, orchestra, think
I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

2 months ago

am, books, buffet, food, good, hobby, humor, humor style, i, people, plants, self-deprecating, style
Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

3 months ago

activity, busy, club, degree, doing, engaged, everyone, Japan, master’s degree, Masters, run, run club, travel
I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

2 months ago

dying, hear, humor, i, just, know, mindset, Monday, motivation, needs, positivity, reassurance, stress, workweek
“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

2 months ago

banter, communication, email, feel, free, humor, ignore, sarcasm, workplace
There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

2 months ago

activity, bigger, expectation, family, fun, humor, lie, truth, whole

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Slack this month:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

52 shares on Slack this month:

I used to have a great future in my past.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

Been getting really into nothing.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Making waves on X:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Making waves on Telegram:

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Trending via Facebook:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Seen just now on Slack:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Just landed via Telegram:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨