Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone who still believes what they see with their own two eyes.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Trending via Snapchat:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Just landed via Messenger:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Going bananas on TikTok:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Trending via Reddit:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Making waves on Telegram:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

Breaking via Facebook:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

3 weeks ago

Funny quote about losing your Fitbit and taking endless steps to find it.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the irony of trying to track down the device that's supposed to track your steps! 🕵️‍♂️🚶‍♂️ It's like a game of hide-and-seek with your Fitbit. Maybe it's trying to get some extra steps in without you knowing! 😉 #FitbitMystery

FitBit, fitness, frustration, humor, i, irony, item, lost, lost item, put, steps, taken, track, tracking, trying, where, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Reddit this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

69 shares on X this month:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

65 shares on X this month:

Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,328

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Type of hangover that makes you understand why normies spend $25 for a poor soul to bike a bagel to them.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

British people be like “YouChube.”

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Going viral on Facebook:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Just landed via Telegram:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Shared recently on YouTube:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Going viral on Messenger:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Shared recently on Discord:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Just landed via YouTube:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Seen just now on Slack:

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴