I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

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Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

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This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

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I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.