Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Jan 5, 2026

3,695

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Trending via Twitch:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Going viral on WeChat:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Live now on Snapchat:

I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.

Just shared via WeChat:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Spotted on Instagram:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Trending via Reddit:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Trending via WeChat:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

2 months ago

0

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, clearly the TV show is a mystery that even Sherlock Holmes couldn't solve! 🕵️‍♂️🤔 Looks like the ultimate detective work falls on the remote control – the unsung hero of solo viewing sessions! 📺🦸‍♂️😆

alone, entertainment, humor, questions, relationship, show, TV, TV Show, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

0

2 months ago

happiness, humor, late, late person, later, meeting, never, person, punctuality
Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, convince, date, Godzilla, humor, idea, invite, monster, plus, plus one, relationship, rom-com, struggle, struggles, wedding
My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

0

2 months ago

always, boss, contrast, cute, different, family, humor, i, me, mom, opinion, sleep, tell, used, work
Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

0

2 months ago

art, back, bring, chill, chill time, doing, doing nothing, friends, hanging, hanging out, house, just, leisure, lost, lost art, nothing, quality, quality time, socializing, time
Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

0

5 months ago

anxiety, embarrassing, embarrassment, health, humor, mental, mental health, night, night shift, nightmare, nightmares, shift, sleep, stress, why, working
Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

0

2 months ago

casual, comfort, errands, fashion, house, humor, lazy, pajamas, put, taking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

55 shares on Slack this month:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,332

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Spotted on X:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Seen just now on Reddit:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Live now on YouTube:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Just landed via X:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Just shared via TikTok:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Going bananas on Discord:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Just shared via Facebook:

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

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