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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Jan 6, 2026

3,356

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Just shared via Instagram:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Just shared via Slack:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Spotted on Reddit:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Seen just now on Threads:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Just shared via Telegram:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Going viral on Instagram:

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

Spotted on Slack:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

2 months ago

0

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, clearly the TV show is a mystery that even Sherlock Holmes couldn't solve! 🕵️‍♂️🤔 Looks like the ultimate detective work falls on the remote control – the unsung hero of solo viewing sessions! 📺🦸‍♂️😆

alone, entertainment, humor, questions, relationship, show, TV, TV Show, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

0

2 months ago

day, every, every day, humor, i, impossible, lifestyle, nothing, people, procrastination
Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

0

4 weeks ago

buy, buyer, chair, chairs, coming, concern, Facebook, Facebook Marketplace, humor, i, marketplace, me, murder, online, online shopping, over, safety, safety concern, sale, shopping, someone
Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

0

2 months ago

activity, dance, fun, fun activity, humor, learning, less, Macarena, nothing, paid, regret, time, wasted, wasted time
Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

0

2 months ago

humor, joke, leave, me, relationship, sarcasm, treat
When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

0

2 months ago

activity, fun, fun activity, hibernation, humor, i, participation, sleep, take, take part, winter, year
The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

0

2 months ago

always, confidence, humor, i, know, last, laugh, laughter, me, mischievous, oh, personality, playful, sarcasm, self-assured, thing, witty, yes

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

New year update: losing everything but weight.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,239

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Being drunk and liking every tweet without reading it.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

This Monday could have been an email.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The money I made gradually, you need urgently?

Trending via LinkedIn:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Going viral on Slack:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Spotted on Discord:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

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