Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ύ has copied:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡± has shared:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡« has viewed:

β€œNew password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡² has downloaded:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡― has bookmarked:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has copied:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡΄ has shared:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,778

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an β€˜egosystem’.

Trending via Telegram:

Someone asked, β€œCan I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Seen just now on Discord:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Trending via Telegram:

No open job postings for β€œWarrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Making waves on Instagram:

How do I un-know people?

Live now on Reddit:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Trending via Threads:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

Playful quote about construction humor, imagining saying "It's hammer time" when leaving.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Nailed it! Let's just hope he doesn't break out into a dance mid-build. πŸš§πŸ•ΊπŸ”¨

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Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Twitch this month:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

46 shares on Slack this month:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

35 shares on Discord this month:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

79 shares on Threads this month:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

50 shares on Slack this month:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,359

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has shared:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has bookmarked:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has shared:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has copied:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡· has viewed:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ό has copied:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has copied:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via Facebook:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Just shared via Facebook:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Old people be like, β€œNo elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

Spotted on YouTube:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Spotted on Twitch:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Shared recently on Threads:

I probably think this song is about me.

Just shared via Reddit:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

Spotted on YouTube:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

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