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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,610

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Just landed via Slack:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Trending via Telegram:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Making waves on Pinterest:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

Just shared via Reddit:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Trending via Telegram:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

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If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.
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Commentary:
Oh, the mysteries of Twitter! 🤔🕵️‍♀️ Who knew Jennifer Aniston had such hidden talents? 😂 Maybe she time-traveled back to the '60s for a guest role in the biggest plot twist of the century! 🕰️🎬 #ConspiracyAniston

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

74 shares on Facebook this month:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

65 shares on X this month:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

76 shares on Threads this month:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,616

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Just shared via Instagram:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Going viral on Telegram:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Live now on LinkedIn:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Live now on Messenger:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Just shared via Facebook:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

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