Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Oh boy, talk about high stakes! 🤞🎲 Let's hope lady luck is on your side, or else you might end up celebrating your next anniversary in the doghouse! 🐶😅"

1, anniversary, anything, bad, bad luck, ever, expectations, gift, gifts, going, humor, luck, marriage, scratch, scratch ticket, ticket, wife, win, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

0

2 months ago

40s, adulting, age, cleaning, expectations, eyesight, guest, humor, level, readers, related, welcome
I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

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2 months ago

cooler, depression, diagnosis, health, humor, i, know, melancholia, mental, mental health, much
We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

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2 months ago

around, chores, house, humor, irony, labor, life, satire, week, weekend, work
This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

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2 months ago

everyday, everyday life, gratitude, grocery, grocery list, humor, journal, life, list, looks, lot, sarcasm
Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

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2 months ago

appear, bubble, expression, grateful, gratitude, heads, humor, inner, inner thought, mind, over, sometimes, thought, thoughts
“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

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2 months ago

body, day, eat, humor, lay, lay down, laziness, listen, okay, relaxation, self-care, snack, snacks, wants, well

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

34 shares on X this month:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

78 shares on Facebook this month:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

In banana years, I am bread.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

Seen just now on Twitch:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Seen just now on YouTube:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Just landed via YouTube:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Just shared via Messenger:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Spotted on Slack:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Shared recently on Threads:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Trending via Threads:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨