Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

There hasn’t been a single person in human history that was remembered for spending their life working a 9-5 job.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,717

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Trending via Reddit:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Just shared via WeChat:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Going viral on Reddit:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Shared recently on YouTube:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Trending via Twitch:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Breaking via Reddit:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Making waves on X:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sounds like a roadmap to romance… with a few potholes! 🚗❤️🗺️ #LoveIsAJourney"

activity, arguing, argument, August, dating, fun, fun activity, humor, relationships, road, road trip, start, trip

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

0

2 months ago

babe, conversation, date, expectations, humor, me, okay, promise, relationship
Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

0

3 months ago

activity, always, better, Friday, Friday night, fun, fun activity, going, going out, life, night, nightlife, Saturday, Saturday night, social, social life, weekend
I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

0

3 months ago

bird, early, early bird, exhausted, exhaustion, humor, night, night owl, owl, pigeon, sort, tired
The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

0

2 months ago

appointment, disappointment, ever, expectations, humor, irony, life, time
Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, ever, family, gathering, gun, holiday, humor, situation, Thanksgiving, uncle
“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

0

2 months ago

bro, dark, dark humor, exhaustion, existing, humor, i, relatable, stop, tired, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Messenger this month:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

61 shares on Twitch this month:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Dear music, thanks!

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Making waves on Reddit:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Shared recently on Slack:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Trending via Twitch:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Spotted on Slack:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨