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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Will probably never be loved, but I have to send emails, so I can’t really think about that right now.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,638

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Just shared via Discord:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Trending via TikTok:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Freshly posted on X:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Spotted on Discord:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Spotted on Threads:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Making waves on Telegram:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Humorous quote about karma and hangovers with a playful, witty tone.
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Commentary:
Looks like karma caught up with your beer choices! 🍻🔮 Next time, make sure you only drink with pure intentions and a clear karmic slate. Cheers to good beer and better karma! 🍺✨ #KarmaBrews

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

82 shares on Slack this month:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

57 shares on Discord this month:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

20 shares on Threads this month:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

20 shares on Threads this month:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Dance like China isn’t watching.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,449

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Breaking via Messenger:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The inner child in me is open-mouth coughing on the inner child in you.

Trending via Messenger:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Trending via X:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Just shared via Instagram:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Just landed via Reddit:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Just landed via X:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Just landed via Discord:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

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