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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log āœØ

Someone from šŸ‡ŖšŸ‡¬ has shared:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Someone from šŸ‡¹šŸ‡¹ has copied:

Iā€™m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth thatā€™s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Someone from šŸ‡«šŸ‡² has copied:

Itā€™s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Someone from šŸ‡¬šŸ‡§ has copied:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Someone from šŸ‡øšŸ‡³ has copied:

Twitter hits different, cause itā€™s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Someone from šŸ‡³šŸ‡® has copied:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a momentā€™s notice.

Someone from šŸ‡¾šŸ‡Ŗ has copied:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Someone from šŸ‡²šŸ‡¹ has bookmarked:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing itā€™s an ad for?

Someone from šŸ‡±šŸ‡» has viewed:

I never had a year with this much thinking. Iā€™ve been thinking since the 1st.

Someone from šŸ‡¦šŸ‡² has copied:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Funny Quotes Data šŸ¤“

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0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,557

Social Media Log šŸ’«

Shared recently on X:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Itā€™s the weekend, so naturally, Iā€™m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Going viral on Telegram:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Freshly posted on Slack:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Donā€™t worry, Iā€™m only dead inside from the waist up.

Making waves on WeChat:

People donā€™t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Spotted on Twitch:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

Going viral on Pinterest:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Making waves on Messenger:

I love when someone texts ā€œhey,ā€ like Iā€™m supposed to solve the rest.

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, Iā€™m giving you a wedgie.

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If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, Iā€™m giving you a wedgie.
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Commentary:
"Warning: Serious answers to silly questions may result in unexpected wardrobe adjustments! šŸ¤ŖšŸ©² #WedgieAlert"

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Welcome to Wordgag! šŸ˜‰āœŒļø Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. šŸ˜‚šŸ’„

šŸŽ‰šŸ„‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ā­

98 shares on Facebook this month:

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

I could post ā€œhelloā€ and thereā€™d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

Itā€™s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

55 shares on X this month:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Trending Topics šŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes šŸ’„

25 folks are currently checking šŸ‘€

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

6 folks are currently checking šŸ‘€

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

24 folks are currently checking šŸ‘€

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

19 folks are currently checking šŸ‘€

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

5 folks are currently checking šŸ‘€

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red noseā€¦ No, officer, I havenā€™t been drinking.

20 folks are currently checking šŸ‘€

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

11 folks are currently checking šŸ‘€

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

13 folks are currently checking šŸ‘€

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

24 folks are currently checking šŸ‘€

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

16 folks are currently checking šŸ‘€

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Funny Quotes Data šŸ¤“

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0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,664

Activity Log āœØ

Someone from šŸ‡°šŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Someone from šŸ‡®šŸ‡± has copied:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Someone from šŸ‡øšŸ‡» has copied:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Someone from šŸ‡­šŸ‡³ has downloaded:

I am ā€œany text received after 9pm will be answered at 6amā€ years old.

Someone from šŸ‡¶šŸ‡¦ has shared:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Someone from šŸ‡¶šŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Someone from šŸ‡³šŸ‡“ has viewed:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Someone from šŸ‡³šŸ‡æ has bookmarked:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from šŸ‡ØšŸ‡© has viewed:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Someone from šŸ‡øšŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

My dating era has come to an end. Iā€™d like to thank those who participated.

Social Media Log šŸ’«

Making waves on Instagram:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Making waves on X:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Trending via YouTube:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Just landed via Slack:

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Going bananas on X:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Just landed via TikTok:

Itā€™s okay, wobbly chair, Iā€™m unstable too.

Going viral on WeChat:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but itā€™s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Not now darling, mummyā€™s influencing on the www.

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