Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,474

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Trending via WeChat:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Making waves on Discord:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Going viral on Facebook:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Going viral on Snapchat:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Going bananas on Messenger:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Breaking News: Speedy replies confirmed as camouflage for workplace shenanigans! 😂📧💨 #EmailNinja"

anything, away, communication, email, emails, ethic, message, messages, productivity, quick, quick reply, reply, respond, response, Teams, work, work ethic, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

0

3 months ago

activity, fun, i, internet, know, people, scream, screaming, spend, things, time, wonder
Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

0

4 months ago

animal, breeze, enjoying, here, humor, i, just, nature, nighttime, outdoors, owl, solitude, tree, trees
Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

0

4 weeks ago

another, catch, cheating, family, humor, invasion, pair, parent, parents, privacy, room, something, trying, why
If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

0

2 months ago

ask, communication, fingers, gesture, haircut, humor, i, know, mean, misunderstanding, motion, salon, scissors
If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

awesome, awesome sauce, condom, date, first date, funny moment, humor, lucky, lucky condom, moment, relationship, sauce, say, still, tomorrow, wallet
The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

0

2 months ago

afford, being, carrot, carrot peeler, fantasy, house, humor, millennial, neighborhood, peeler, professional, salary, Sims, walkable, walkable neighborhood

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on X this month:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

43 shares on Threads this month:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

25 shares on Slack this month:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

92 shares on X this month:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

16 shares on Discord this month:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

52 shares on Threads this month:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

32 shares on X this month:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Making waves on Twitch:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Going viral on X:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Seen just now on Discord:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Breaking via Slack:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Just shared via Twitch:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Making waves on Telegram:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨