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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,251

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Making waves on Reddit:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Just shared via Messenger:

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Live now on Slack:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Live now on LinkedIn:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Just shared via WeChat:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Just landed via Facebook:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a real gut-wrenching performance, can't wait for the behind-the-scenes content! 🍿🩺😂

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Twitch this month:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

21 shares on Slack this month:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

64 shares on Discord this month:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

12 shares on Discord this month:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

44 shares on Discord this month:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You can reach me by butterfly.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,319

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Freshly posted on Slack:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Just shared via Snapchat:

British people be like “YouChube.”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Making waves on Facebook:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Going viral on Messenger:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Trending via Pinterest:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Trending via Reddit:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Just shared via Instagram:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

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