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Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

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Updated

Jan 20, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.

Seen just now on Threads:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Trending via Facebook:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Spotted on YouTube:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Going bananas on X:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

Making waves on Slack:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like a real gut-wrenching performance, can't wait for the behind-the-scenes content! 🍿🩺😂

awkward, colonoscopy, embarrassment, humor, live, live stream, medical, medical humor, posts, self-deprecating, stream, think, unexpected, wait

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41 shares on Instagram this month:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

18 shares on Threads this month:

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

89 shares on Threads this month:

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

God gives the most irritable bowels to the most beautiful angels.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Trending via Telegram:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Just landed via YouTube:

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Just landed via TikTok:

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

Making waves on Threads:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Seen just now on X:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Just shared via Reddit:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Going viral on YouTube:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

Just landed via Pinterest:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

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Activity Log ✨

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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