Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Trending via Pinterest:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Live now on Reddit:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Going viral on X:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When she starts acting like a detective over a missed text, you know it's true love! 🔍❤️😂

affection, girlfriend, humor, little, love, psycho, relationship, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

0

2 months ago

cartoon, emotional, everything, getting, humor, perseverance, resilience, Spongebob, thinking, through
I am half agony, half hope.

0

2 months ago

agony, am, contrast, emotion, half, hope, humor, i, irony, struggle, wit
In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

0

2 months ago

case, cold, context, day, embarrassment, humor, me, nude, nudes, self-deprecation, should
My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

0

2 months ago

brain, fat, hair, life, skin
I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

0

2 months ago

30, break, chore, chores, humor, i, laziness, management, minutes, procrastination, time, time management
It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

0

2 months ago

access, always, conspiracy, crash, government, humor, military, places, UFO, weird, weirdness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

100 shares on Instagram this month:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Live now on X:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Just landed via YouTube:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Live now on YouTube:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

Just shared via YouTube:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

I am half agony, half hope.

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨