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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,577

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Spotted on Twitch:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Just landed via Threads:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Seen just now on X:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Just shared via Facebook:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Live now on Twitch:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Witty text about upgrading from food to cuisine, playful and humorous in tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Are you tired of waving goodbye to ordinary "food" and ready to greet the fancy "cuisine"? 🍴✨ Let your taste buds embark on a culinary adventure and bid adieu to food comas! 🎩🍽️

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

41 shares on Slack this month:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

26 shares on X this month:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

70 shares on Slack this month:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I would do anything for a job, except write a cover letter.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Just landed via Reddit:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Trending via Pinterest:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Seen just now on Threads:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Shared recently on X:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Having a job ruined my life.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

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