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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,653

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Making waves on WeChat:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Seen just now on Facebook:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Shared recently on WeChat:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Going viral on Instagram:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Asking the real CEO of the house for approval… gotta love living on the edge 😂👰📊

boomerism, boss, communication, electric, feels, humor, man, marriage, married, married man, peak, phrase, run, say

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

0

2 months ago

clever, clever man, closet, clothes, fit, humor, jealousy, man, other man, relationship, wife’s, wife’s closet
Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

0

3 months ago

able, clothing, fall, fashion, frustration, got, heat, hot, hot weather, humor, i, long-sleeve, long-sleeve shirt, mismatch, new, sad, seasonal, seasonal frustration, shirt, sorry, temperature, wear, weather, weather mismatch
Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

0

2 months ago

confusion, dynamics, expectations, humor, irony, me, obsession, reaction, relationship, self-awareness, WTF
When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

0

3 months ago

dating, fake, fake version, fire, first meeting, humor, impression, man, meet, meeting, personality, relationship, version
69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

0

1 month ago

2, call, couple, date, dinner, food, humor, i, nasty, romantic, romantic dinner, sarcasm
I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

0

2 months ago

heart, humor, i, insta, Insta story, keep, media, memory, moment, moments, nostalgia, old, social, social media, special, special moment, still, story

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Instagram this month:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

75 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

74 shares on Facebook this month:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

I only accept apologies in cash.

97 shares on X this month:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

58 shares on Discord this month:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Going viral on Twitch:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Going bananas on Slack:

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

Just landed via Telegram:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Breaking via X:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Going bananas on Threads:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Going bananas on Discord:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Trending via Reddit:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Just landed via Messenger:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨