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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,938

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

The future is buffering.

Going bananas on Slack:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

Spotted on Instagram:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

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“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”
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Commentary:
Living the dream: chores in paradise with a limitless credit card! 💸🧺🍹

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

38 shares on Slack this month:

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

88 shares on Discord this month:

Being a little freak is my love language.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

53 shares on Discord this month:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

49 shares on YouTube this month:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

92 shares on X this month:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,861

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Breaking via Pinterest:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Just landed via Facebook:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Making waves on Instagram:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

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