I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

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I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.