I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.
I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Commentary:
Looks like you’ve reached expert level in the art of solo living! 🏆 Who needs a “relayshaunship” when you can spell independence with ease? 🚶‍♂️💁‍♀️ Keep shining on your own path, spelling bee champion! 🐝🌟

, , , , , , , , , , ,
New funny quotes →

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

    Commentary:
    Stepping out of your comfort zone one couch cushion at a time! 🪑 Sometimes the bravest adventures involve moving a whole 3 feet away from your usual spot. 😄 #SofaJourney #LivingOnTheEdge

  • They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like those ‘scared straight’ tactics really worked a little *too* well, huh? 😅👶 Sometimes it feels like we’re still attending those cringe-worthy health classes in our nightmares! 🙈 #ForeverScarredByTeenPregnancyEd”

  • My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

    Commentary:
    Oh no, that’s some next-level beauty payment plan right there! 💳💇‍♂️ Maybe next time they could offer a hair-raising discount instead? Or a free hair styling session for the inconvenience? Just make sure to check your balance before hitting the salon – you don’t want unexpected hair-raising experiences! 🤣 #BadHairDay #CreditCrunch

  • I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

    Commentary:
    “Sure, I was born to be wild 🤘, but let’s be real…by 9pm, I’m usually ready to be in bed with a good book and some cocoa 📚☕️. Rock on until the early bird specials start! 🦉😂”

  • One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a good memory when you can just forget about all the things that make you unhappy? Maybe that’s the key to eternal bliss – just keep forgetting all the bad stuff!”

  • Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

    Commentary:
    “Who needs designer bags when you can store all your grudges in your pockets? 🤷‍♀️👜 Don’t mess with a woman and her pocketful of grievances! 💁‍♀️💼 #GrudgeStorage #PocketPower”