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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Jan 6, 2026

3,504

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Breaking via WeChat:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Shared recently on Facebook:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Just landed via Twitch:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Breaking via Messenger:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

2 months ago

0

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hiring managers beware: this job seeker is ready to tackle any task… as long as it doesn't involve crafting a dreaded cover letter! 📝🙅‍♂️ Who's got time for eloquent prose when there are memes to be browsed and snacks to be eaten, am I right? 😂 Stay tuned for the next episode of "Avoiding Cover Letters: A Memoir."

anything, cover, cover letter, effort, except, humor, job, job search, letter, procrastination, search, willingness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

0

2 days ago

cake, challenge, change, confidence, done, history, humor, piece, politics, regime, regime change, sarcasm, should, success, well
I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

0

2 months ago

growing, growth, hair, hangout, humor, isolation, me, mullet, style, want
Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, away, coping, drinking, escape, fun, humor, moving, problems, relaxation, run, want
Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

0

5 months ago

check, childhood, code, digital, digital life, email, ever, humor, i, life, online, online security, security, technology, verification, verification code, wanted, young
Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

0

2 months ago

bowl, craving, cream, dessert, emptiness, empty, food, humor, ice, ice cream, licking, sadness, small, staring, too
Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

0

2 months ago

act, asking, being, better, dating, gender, gender role, humor, man, relationship, role, sarcasm, single

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on X this month:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

11 shares on Slack this month:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

22 shares on Twitch this month:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

80 shares on Slack this month:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,517

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Just landed via Facebook:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Making waves on Telegram:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Going viral on Telegram:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

Going viral on Twitch:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

Spotted on Twitch:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Just shared via Slack:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

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