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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,623

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Spotted on Telegram:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Trending via Reddit:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Shared recently on Threads:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Just shared via Twitch:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Trending via Snapchat:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'd be richer than the Monopoly man and possibly a bit more sober! 🍾💸😆

alcohol, finance, humor, imagination, imagine, money, refund, spending, spent

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

0

2 months ago

attitude, called, casual, casual attitude, chapter, guess, humor, i, indifference, life, life chapter, ok, uncertainty, whatever
Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

0

2 months ago

amazing, awkward, awkward situation, breaks, employees, fix, humor, introvert, machine, self-checkout, situation, technology, wait
That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

0

2 months ago

all eyes, awkward, awkward moment, bride, eyes, family, groom, humor, moment, son, wedding
I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

0

2 months ago

blame, culture, generation, humor, i, kids, know, lynyrd, Lynyrd Skynyrd, music, names, naming, parents, put, skynyrd, think, too
Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

0

2 months ago

cosmic, every, humor, i, me, okay, patience, sign, signs, think, time, universe, wait, waiting
I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

0

2 months ago

attention, confidence, creativity, humor, i, ideas, media, selfie, social, social media, validation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on X this month:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

37 shares on Slack this month:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Just landed via Messenger:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Making waves on Facebook:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Shared recently on Discord:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Trending via TikTok:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Just landed via Slack:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Just landed via Messenger:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Spotted on Reddit:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨