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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Live now on Reddit:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Shared recently on Discord:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Just landed via Twitch:

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

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Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.
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Commentary:
I'd be richer than the Monopoly man and possibly a bit more sober! 🍾💸😆

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on YouTube this month:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,305

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Shared recently on Discord:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Going viral on Pinterest:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Going bananas on YouTube:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Just landed via Telegram:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Making waves on X:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

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