Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,230

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Just shared via Instagram:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Live now on Discord:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Trending via Slack:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

Shared recently on Threads:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Making waves on X:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, that’s one way to test the aerodynamics! 🚗💨👽✨

alien, buying, car, event, humor, imagination, imagine, new, superhero, unexpected, unexpected event

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, boyfriend mode, girls, humor, insta, Instagram, jealousy, liking, liking pictures, media, mode, pictures, relationship, robot, set, sex, sex robot, social, social media, technology
Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

0

2 months ago

back, change, clothing, fashion, giving, giving back, guy, humor, jeans, joke, skinny, society, style, taking, wardrobe, wardrobe change
In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

0

5 months ago

confidence, disagree, disagreement, experience, humor, me, opinion, people, sarcasm, wrong
The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

0

3 days ago

ability, able, exactly, female, female intuition, following, girl, guess, guessing, humor, intuition, media, relationship, social, social media
If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

0

2 months ago

animation, anything, cartoons, cliff, comedy, fall, humor, irony, little, satire, slapstick, taught, umbrella, us, uselessness
Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

0

2 months ago

anything, disappointment, do nothing, humor, i, men, nothing, promises, relationships

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

48 shares on Threads this month:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

52 shares on X this month:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

72 shares on Slack this month:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Going viral on Instagram:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Trending via Messenger:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Making waves on Slack:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I only drink when I people.

Making waves on YouTube:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨