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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,274

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Breaking via Slack:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Going viral on Slack:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Spotted on Telegram:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Live now on Telegram:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

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Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!
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Commentary:
Trying to follow instructions be like: "Wait, where's the blueprint for this? 📐🤔"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

96 shares on X this month:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

85 shares on Instagram this month:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

24 shares on Threads this month:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

10 shares on Discord this month:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,481

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Making waves on YouTube:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Shared recently on X:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Trending via Pinterest:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Shared recently on TikTok:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

Breaking via Facebook:

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Just shared via Threads:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

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