Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect role for a rom-com villain. Just remember, girls, not all heroes wear capes—sometimes they just have common sense! 😂👠💨

20s, before, dating, demon, dream, dreams, evil, important, light, loser, love, man, narcissist, relationship, run

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

2 months ago

downhill, follower, followers, here, humor, media, new, sarcasm, social, social media, welcome
Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

2 months ago

humor, love, me, relationship, romantic, romantic humor, sarcasm, well
McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

2 months ago

anything, customer, customer service, death, else, fast, fast food, food, humor, McDonald’s, minute, service, wait
Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

2 months ago

adult, adult theme, back, back pain, bad, bad knee, bed, early, early bed, excitement, going, interest, interest rate, knee, knees, movie, pain, rate, rates, theme, warning
Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

2 months ago

bad, bad choice, bad decision, choice, choices, decision, humor, humorous, making, myself, number, pride, proud, record-breaking, sarcastic, self-deprecating, today
There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

3 months ago

dating, first month, good, humor, love, man, month, months, nothing, person, personality, pretending, relationship, romance, still

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Reddit this month:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

90 shares on Threads this month:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

90 shares on X this month:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

If every lesbian is into older women, who’s gonna like the younger ones?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Making waves on Messenger:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Trending via YouTube:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Spotted on Messenger:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Spotted on Threads:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Trending via Threads:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨