Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,638

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Going viral on Snapchat:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Seen just now on Discord:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Going viral on Snapchat:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Just shared via Telegram:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Trending via TikTok:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Freshly posted on X:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Guess I should start calling it DadGPT! 😂👨‍💼🤦‍♂️"

ChatGPT, fact, family, father-in-law, humor, jokes, keeps, making, making stuff up, passing, stuff, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

0

2 months ago

attraction, good, good person, hot, humor, i, irony, people, person, wish, women
I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

0

2 months ago

blanket, comfort, form, human, human form, humor, i, preferences, relaxation, weighted, weighted blanket
My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

0

2 months ago

bank, desk, finance, irony, keep, me, missing, money, pen, pens, safe, security, trust
Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

0

2 months ago

apology, attraction, flirtation, hot, humor, i, pants, said, sorry, still, think
I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal behavior, back, behavior, cat, communication, funny interaction, humor, i, interaction, meow, pet, social, today
“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

0

5 months ago

advice, authenticity, humor, just, me, mixed, mixed result, past, result, results, self

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Reddit this month:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

16 shares on X this month:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

25 shares on Facebook this month:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

46 shares on X this month:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

83 shares on X this month:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

You’re still ragebaiting? Everyone is on vagueposting now. Keep up.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Going viral on WeChat:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Making waves on Snapchat:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Going viral on Twitch:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Live now on TikTok:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Just shared via YouTube:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨