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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,602

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Just shared via X:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Live now on X:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Just shared via Threads:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

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“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.
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Commentary:
Everything's a joke, especially on Mondays 😅🤪 #LifeIsComedy

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on X this month:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

76 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,760

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Live now on YouTube:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Live now on Facebook:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Going bananas on Slack:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Trending via YouTube:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Spotted on WeChat:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Just landed via Instagram:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Just landed via Discord:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

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