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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,653

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Just landed via Telegram:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Breaking via X:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Just shared via WeChat:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Trending via Twitch:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Trending via WeChat:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Going viral on X:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Trending via Snapchat:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about life feeling like a joke with playful, witty tone.

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Commentary:
Everything's a joke, especially on Mondays 😅🤪 #LifeIsComedy

attitude, bit, everything, humor, joke, little, me, sarcasm, unfortunately, wit

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Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Twitch this month:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

27 shares on Threads this month:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

77 shares on YouTube this month:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

18 shares on X this month:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Trending via Twitch:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Going bananas on Threads:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Going bananas on Telegram:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Just landed via Discord:

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Live now on Pinterest:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Trending via Reddit:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Carrying a pizza in public feels like you’re showing off.

Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨