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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,483

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Making waves on WeChat:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Making waves on Reddit:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Trending via Pinterest:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Freshly posted on Threads:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Trending via Facebook:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Just landed via Instagram:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Spotted on Pinterest:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Just shared via WeChat:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

4 weeks ago

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Commentary:
Navigating the end times one "meh" at a time 😅🤷‍♂️🍕

civilization, collapse, coping, humor, irony, life, modern, modern life, phrase, resilience, sarcasm, slang, through

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, close, close talker, fly, fly swatter, humor, joke, personal, personal space, social, social awkwardness, space, swatter, talker
Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

0

2 months ago

everyone, existence, human, humor, internet, laugh, smart, stupidity
Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

0

2 months ago

clothing, colour, fashion, humor, illegal, joke, leggings, should, skin, skin colour, style
Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

0

2 months ago

activity, arts, fighting, humor, martial, mixed, mixed martial arts, sports, tickle, tickle fighting
When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

0

5 months ago

almost, conversation, feels, friend, friends, humor, i, never, science, scientific, sex, sexual, talk
Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

0

2 months ago

checking, claus, holiday, humor, list, man, myth, real, Santa, skepticism, twice

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

45 shares on X this month:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

41 shares on Threads this month:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

77 shares on Threads this month:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Trending via Discord:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Going viral on Instagram:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Just shared via Slack:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Trending via Pinterest:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Just shared via Twitch:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨