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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,239

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Live now on YouTube:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

Going bananas on X:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Just landed via Pinterest:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Just landed via Reddit:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Going viral on X:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Going viral on Reddit:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

4 weeks ago

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Commentary:
Navigating the end times one "meh" at a time 😅🤷‍♂️🍕

civilization, collapse, coping, humor, irony, life, modern, modern life, phrase, resilience, sarcasm, slang, through

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

0

2 months ago

adult, age, humor, irony, maturity, me, mistake, people, self-perception
According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

0

2 months ago

calculations, existential, humor, irony, joke, life, math, screwed
Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

0

2 months ago

advice, bed, chores, daily, daily habit, discipline, habit, hear, humor, morning, morning routine, motivation, needs, productivity, routine, sure
“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

0

2 months ago

actually, communication, conversation, humor, i, interaction, me, over, quiet, sarcasm, social, social interaction, speak, talk, talking, thanks, tried, twice
One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

0

2 months ago

ability, credit, enough, humor, learn, lesson, lot, nobody, observation, pigeon, sidewalk, thing
If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

0

2 months ago

communication, fine, humor, relationship, trouble, warning

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Discord this month:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

59 shares on Twitch this month:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

48 shares on YouTube this month:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

98 shares on Reddit this month:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Just shared via TikTok:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Just landed via Snapchat:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

Seen just now on WeChat:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Just shared via Slack:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Making waves on Pinterest:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

Going viral on X:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Trending via Messenger:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨