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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,547

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Just landed via Threads:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Going viral on Facebook:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Making waves on Facebook:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Making waves on Discord:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Just shared via Telegram:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Spotted on Twitch:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Just landed via Telegram:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

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It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.
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Commentary:
"Imagine trying to rap battle with someone, only to have them drop a Shakespeare-level sonnet about your shortcomings 🎤🧐 Talk about a lyrical ambush! #RhymeAndShade"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

79 shares on Reddit this month:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

82 shares on Threads this month:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,273

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Making waves on YouTube:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Just shared via Discord:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Just landed via Facebook:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

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