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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,600

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

Just shared via Telegram:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Spotted on Instagram:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
"Good point! 😅 Otherwise, iceberg lettuce would have a whole new meaning❄️🥗 #HistoryWithPlotTwists"

dark, dark humor, death, died, disaster, good, humor, irony, lot, movie, only, people, thing, Titanic

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

1 month ago
being, clown, comedy, conflict, humor, i, irony, mind, mine, perspective, relationship, story, villain
My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

1 month ago
again, cat, cigarettes, excuses, frustration, humor, pet, sick, smell, smells
Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

1 month ago
act, boy, boys, difference, dramatic, ever, eyebrow, gender, gender difference, girl, girls, humor, man, pain, pluck, say, shot
It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

1 month ago
always, choices, communication, difficult, humor, just, personality, say, say yes, yes
Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

1 month ago
comedy, fact, film, humor, impossible, mission, movie, plot, plot twist, twist, where
I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

1 month ago
birthday, Christmas, Easter, fat, Mother’s Day, weekend

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Going bananas on Messenger:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Going bananas on Facebook:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

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Activity Log ✨

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

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It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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