Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I just wanna buy $16 worth of a meme coin and sell it for $2.6M two weeks later.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,762

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Spotted on YouTube:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Seen just now on Threads:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Trending via Slack:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Spotted on Facebook:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Live now on Discord:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Playful quote about therapy and popcorn, highlighting humor and lightheartedness.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Guess we've just turned therapy into a blockbuster event! 🍿😂 #PopcornTherapy"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

40 shares on Threads this month:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

20 shares on Slack this month:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

94 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,310

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I’ve been a main character since birth.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

Just landed via YouTube:

Easy there, unsaved number.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Shared recently on Slack:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Seen just now on Slack:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Making waves on X:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

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