Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,660

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Just shared via X:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Just shared via Slack:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Just landed via Threads:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Just landed via Instagram:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Spotted on Threads:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Trending via YouTube:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Adulting: When you realize 'winging it' is the universal strategy! 🚀🤓😂

adult, adults, childhood, dire, growing, growing up, humor, i, intelligence, interesting, kid, learning, most, observation, sarcasm, situation, smart, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

0

3 weeks ago

before, breakup, country, country song, hear, humor, leaving, matter, only, self-driving, self-driving vehicle, song, time, truck, vehicle
Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

0

2 months ago

communication, confidence, humor, internet, media, observations, people, social, social media, time, welcome, where, wrong
Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

0

2 months ago

am, humor, i, interaction, laundry, lot, media, online, online interaction, post, posting, social, social media, timeline
Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

0

2 months ago

animal, fired, humor, i, job, trying, turtles, wax, workplace, zoo
I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

0

2 months ago

communication, conversation, etiquette, humor, i, love, media, message, rest, sarcasm, social, social media, solve, someone, texting, texting etiquette, texts
I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

0

2 months ago

expression, finger, gratitude, humor, i, me, middle, middle finger, sticking, sticking up, support, thank

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

40 shares on X this month:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Spotted on Messenger:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Freshly posted on Slack:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Live now on X:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨