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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,594

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

Just landed via YouTube:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Live now on WhatsApp:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Going viral on Discord:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Going viral on Threads:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Just shared via Facebook:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Making waves on Instagram:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Trending via Slack:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your heart's a runaway train and your brain's not even on board! 🚂💔🤦‍♂️"

crush, even, feelings, hope, humor, infatuation, just, love, optimism, romantic, sarcasm, unsupervised

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, me, nature, next, personification, thinking, thunderstorm, too, weather, wonder
It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

0

2 months ago

fast, fear, humor, machine, scary, spin, washing, washing machine
Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

0

2 months ago

cuddle, dating, gender, gender roles, humor, irony, little, masculinity, men, relationship, roles, spoon, used, want, war
My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

0

2 months ago

burnout, expectations, humor, mama, mediocrity, perfectionist, quitter, raise, raised, self-criticism, sometimes, struggle
When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

0

2 months ago

activity, bring, dog, dog treat, humor, i, never, outdoor, outdoor activity, owner, people, people treat, pet, pet owner, take, treat, walk
Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

0

2 months ago

Chinese, Chinese government, energy, every, government, humor, me, morning, power, ray, sarcasm, sleepy, sleepy ray, turned, wakefulness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on WeChat this month:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

11 shares on X this month:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

39 shares on Discord this month:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Shared recently on Discord:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Just landed via Twitch:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Spotted on Instagram:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Making waves on X:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨