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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,575

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like we both deserve the Procrastination Gold Medal! 🏅😴📅

day, doing, done, except, feel, guilt, guilty, humor, inactivity, laziness, nothing, procrastination, self-awareness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

0

2 months ago

AI, AI writing, dash, em, em dash, grammar, humor, incoherence, incoherent, mean, please, punctuation, stop, too, us, work, writing
Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

0

2 months ago

bill, doctor, email, emails, finance, good, humor, joke, love, me, medical, outstanding, outstanding bill, pay, payment, sarcasm
Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

0

2 months ago

accept, acceptance, change, grant, humor, i, irony, me, parody, serenity, supernatural, things
Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

0

2 weeks ago

change, conversation, humor, i, name, phrase, pun, want, wordplay
It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

0

2 days ago

actually, being, benefit, crazy, ghost, ghosts, humor, i, joke, know, people, spooky, three, visit
First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

0

2 months ago

activity, couple, crime, criminal, criminal history, date, date idea, first date, history, humor, idea, joke, others, relationship, search, together

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

90 shares on Slack this month:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Shared recently on Discord:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Making waves on Instagram:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Just landed via WeChat:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Making waves on Telegram:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Shared recently on Telegram:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨