Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I would like even faster food.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,517

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Going viral on X:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Just shared via Reddit:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Making waves on X:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like we both deserve the Procrastination Gold Medal! 🏅😴📅

day, doing, done, except, feel, guilt, guilty, humor, inactivity, laziness, nothing, procrastination, self-awareness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

0

2 months ago

dating, first month, good, humor, love, man, month, months, nothing, person, personality, pretending, relationship, romance, still
I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

0

2 months ago

fun, funny moment, great, great time, humor, i, moment, realization, self-esteem, self-image, time, ugly
Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

0

2 months ago

busy, deleting, distraction, humor, lock, lock screen, phone, procrastination, screen, screenshot, too
My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

0

2 months ago

asked, day, eat, family, food, holiday, home, humor, i, joke, me, meal, mom, mother, relationship, sarcasm, taking, told, where
I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

0

2 months ago

apple, communication, fake, hate, humor, i, people, power, power ranger, ranger, talk, technology, watch
The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

0

2 months ago

cashiers, convenience, frustration, humor, idiots, problem, retail, self-checkout, shopping, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Threads this month:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

54 shares on Twitch this month:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

22 shares on Discord this month:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Going viral on Slack:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

Shared recently on TikTok:

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

Trending via Twitch:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Making waves on Threads:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Just landed via Slack:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨