Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,556

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Trending via Snapchat:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Trending via Discord:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Going viral on TikTok:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my relationship with my plants – I forget them, they forget me! 🌱🤦‍♂️🧠

checkbox, found, frustration, humor, login, me, memory, never, nothing, remember, technology, works

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

0

3 weeks ago

anyone, concern, education, else, fear, future, generation, generations, illiteracy, illiterate, next, scared, stupid, stupidity, youth
Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

0

2 months ago

alien, among, funny observation, humor, i, interaction, live, living, living among, me, observation, people, social, social interaction, undetected
First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

0

2 months ago

close, date, first date, funny idea, humor, i, idea, lean, playful, surprise, wet, wet willy, willy
If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

0

4 days ago

advice, challenge, day, frustration, game, good, good day, having, humor, play, puzzle, today, word, word game, Wordle
The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

0

2 months ago

appointment, disappointment, ever, expectations, humor, irony, life, time
I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

0

2 months ago

comparison, eye, feel, funny comparison, humor, i, irony, juice, naming, orange, orange juice, person, pink, pink eye

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

24 shares on Twitch this month:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

99 shares on X this month:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

22 shares on Slack this month:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Making waves on Facebook:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Spotted on TikTok:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Just shared via Instagram:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Live now on Messenger:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Live now on Threads:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Shared recently on Discord:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Spotted on Reddit:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Trending via Twitch:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Spotted on Facebook:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨