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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Spotted on WeChat:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Seen just now on X:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Just landed via TikTok:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Just shared via Telegram:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Spotted on YouTube:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like my relationship with my plants – I forget them, they forget me! 🌱🤦‍♂️🧠

checkbox, found, frustration, humor, login, me, memory, never, nothing, remember, technology, works

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48 shares on X this month:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Santa’s elves listen to wrap music.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Going viral on YouTube:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Just landed via Threads:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

Making waves on YouTube:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Just landed via Messenger:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

Making waves on X:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

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Activity Log ✨

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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