Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

My life is based on a true story.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,288

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Making waves on Twitch:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Trending via Snapchat:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Live now on Reddit:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Going viral on TikTok:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Shared recently on Discord:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Just shared via Messenger:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my relationship with my plants – I forget them, they forget me! 🌱🤦‍♂️🧠

checkbox, found, frustration, humor, login, me, memory, never, nothing, remember, technology, works

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

0

2 months ago

company, connection, customer, drunken, drunken shopping, hate, humor, i, me, night, one-night stand, random, relationship, shopping, stand
Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

0

2 months ago

cardigan, comfort, day, favorite, humor, morning, nothing, realization, realize, surprise, wake, wardrobe
I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

0

4 months ago

around, clothing, cozy, cozy clothing, dryer, fresh, fun, funny habit, game, guess, guessing, guessing game, habit, humor, i, laundromat, laundry, love, plus, putting, underwear, warm, warm underwear
Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

0

2 months ago

before, clean, friendship, honesty, humor, relationship, tidy, visitors
A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

0

3 weeks ago

dinosaur, humor, people, people problem, pet, problem, problems, solve
I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

0

2 months ago

ambition, crazy, halfway, humor, rich, self-awareness, wealth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on X this month:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

99 shares on Slack this month:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Seen just now on Discord:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

Broadcasted on Slack:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Spotted on X:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Spotted on Threads:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Freshly posted on X:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Just shared via X:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨